2/27
While tutoring at the urban middle school I was somewhat shocked by a situation that occurred. I was talking to Amanda (not real name), one of the girls I tutored, about what she wanted to do with her life. She told me originally she wanted to be an actress; however, she changed her mind when she overheard her mom talking to Amanda’s sister and saying she did not think that Amanda could make it as an actress. Now she says she does not know what she wants to do with her life. I was so blown away that I did not even saying anything back to her.
What shocked me was that her mother would say something like this to another child, when this was Amanda’s dream. Sure the idea of becoming an actress seems childish, yet I think to Amanda this was all that she really saw as an option. Perhaps it goes to the whole idea Brophy talked about when he discussed people who set goals so high they would never look bad if they did not achieve them. Amanda may have felt that if she could at least answer the question with something, even if it was a bit unrealistic, she could save face and avoid looking unmotivated. Or perhaps to her, she only had role models who were actresses. In her life, she may not have had any women who were successful, so she saw through media women living happy fulfilling lives as actresses. I think many of the children in this school are in the same boat. They do not have good role models in their own lives, so they look to famous people as idols. Or maybe it is a way to escape from the harsh reality of their normal lives. Sometimes living in a fantasy is easier then waking up to a downtrodden life.
As a future teacher I am concerned with how to help students like Amanda, who have a dream, maybe unrealistic, but are still persuaded by outside force, i.e. parents, that they can not succeed. I think Amanda hearing her mother’s comment crushed her and made her feel worthless. To hear that no way can you achieve what you want in life can only be devastating. As teachers, then we are suppose to figure out ways to help them see they can succeed. Ideas like Brophy gave would be applicable. Perhaps by giving examples of everyday real people who have done things with their lives will provide some help. Or even as the teacher, setting an example by loving your job and showing that you are fulfilled by it because of all the effort you put forth. Even if we can help the students expose something that they could do with their lives with skills they have, even if it is not what we would want for them, we could at least give them a chance in society. Not everyone is supposed to be a genius or work for some huge company. By showing students they can get out into the real world and find something that fits who they are, we can give them the best chance of success.
